How stupid am I?

How stupid am I? (redundant question: I think I already know the answer to this one).

It is amazing how we sabotage ourselves! Just yesterday, a colleague at work asked me what the word "Woniya" meant. I immediately panicked because there could only be one reason why he would ask me that; he must have seen my LinkedIn profile!

I had created the LinkedIn profile some months ago as an experiment. I had wanted to see what my profile would look like if I ever ventured (dared?) move into the Energy Healing field that interests me so much.

When my colleague asked me his question, I froze. I felt vulnerable, and unprepared to tell him the truth. The fact that there were other people around us who were intently listening to the conversation only made me feel more uneasy. I just mumbled some non-committal comment about using Google to search for it, and ran back to my cube.

I logged into LinkedIn, and was about to wipe out my profile when I stopped. I realized that I was allowing fear and uncertainty to move me to do something that ultimately would not be in my best interests. I had come to a crossroads, and I had to choose right then which path I would follow.

I decided that I had to be true to myself, and my interests and abilities. I thought back to Gandhi's famous words:

First, they ignore you,
Then they ridicule you,
Then they fight you,
And then you win.

I left the LinkedIn profile as it was (plus a brief description of the meaning of "Woniya"), and I went to speak with my work friend privately.

I apologized to him for my startled reaction. Then I explained to him what the word meant, and how it relates to Energy Healing. I told him how I felt that most people were not ready to hear about Energy Healing yet, but that I was already busy helping people with their health issues.

Gladly, he replied that he was OK with all that, and open-minded with regards to Energy Healing.

I thank the Almighty for having placed me at this crossroads, and for forcing me to choose.

I wonder how often I have sabotaged my deepest desires this way in the past, simply by not listening to myself? More worried about what others will think, than what will advance me on my path.

Thank God that just for today, I stopped myself, and made the right choice. May you have the same good fortune.